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- YEAR 515

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WHAT’S HOT IN RED MOUNTAIN KEEP?

From our Red Mountain Correspondent

Dateline: 5-12-517

RMK Courtyard Guard Will the Vise models the new-look Guard’s uniform.

Following the King’s recent announcement that Royal troops are to be deployed to dungeon courtyards to augment the regular courtyard guards in resisting organised monstrous incursions, the 86th Royal Decoration Brigade recently arrived in Red Mountain Courtyard.

The 86th, consisting of experts in flower arrangement, feng shui, and interior design, were reassigned from Crownheart in response to the King’s edict.

Guard Commander Johnny Sevenlimes applauded the move, saying that "While other dungeons were forced to accept hardened Royal Guards to defend themselves against monstrous invasion, Red Mountain Keep will now not only be Bereny's Finest Courtyard, but also at the forefront of fashionable decor." Plans for redecoration of the Guard Commander's estate have already been written up, sources indicate.

The commander of the 86th, Captain Sheldon Mirewipe, offered his thoughts about the new assignment. "You know I've never been to a dungeon before. So dreary and grey. But I do like how the lava flow provides contrast to the armor on all these strapping young adventurers. No wonder monsters want to eat them up. I can tell I'm just going to love it here!"

The Captain has ideas for the Courtyard Guard as well. "And those stodgy guard outfits, ugh! No-no, we need something a little more form-fitting to say Red Mountain has the sizzle!"

Bureaucrats in Crownheart seem less certain. "Something obviously went wrong here. I clearly remember the orders were to send the 8th Royal Guard and the 6th investigation detachment, not the 86th", said Clerk 1st Class Myron Thipplewick. Those units were apparently sent to the Broken Lands. "I'm afraid we won't be seeing those units in Red Mountain for years, if ever. I'm sure there'll be an investigation eventually, but that's not my problem anymore. I've come into a considerable sum of gold recently, you see. I'm retiring to Torlia!"

This reporter will continue to investigate.