The Bereny Bugle

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The Bereny Bugle currently has a vacancy for a qualified Astrologer / Soothsayer, while the previous holder of this post is on long-term sick leave.

The successful candidate will be someone who can demonstrate an ability to foresee the future in a manner not involving sacrifices to Dark Gods or other practises likely to bring the Bereny Bugle into disrepute with the Religious authorities.

He or she will be able to do so without going all hysterical on the Managing Editor and raving about there being no future and how the End of Time is at hand, as this is not conducive to selling newspapers.

He or she will also be able to undertake prophetic activity without it producing high-pitched whining noises issuing from the very fabric of reality and killing all the potted plants in the Managing Editor’s office.

Accuracy of prediction is a secondary consideration to the ability to submit copy to the printers in time to go to press. However the Bereny Bugle cannot be held responsible should the successful applicant be slapped about the face by associates of the High Priest demanding that they be more specific “for the children”.

The Bereny Bugle is an equal opportunities employer, even for employees retained through indentured service contracts, which offers competitive pay and a highly generous death-in-service benefits package.