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BERENY BUGLE SPECIAL REPORT
STRAY CATS, KILLER CATS -
By Jacquetta Anichoson, Investigative Reporter
Dateline: 23-
With new rumours surfacing daily of farmers and wagons sneaking onto unsuspecting estates, harvesting the crops, and selling them at the estates' own hamlets and harvest markets, local militia and knights are on high alert. Who or what could be behind this gang of agricultural thieves? The next time a castle cat comes wandering through your estate's front gate, you might want to take a closer look. It might be a pouch full of gold hanging from that kitty's belly instead of a stomach full of careless crusader.
At least that is the story coming from the Stargazer Estate. Erica Stargazer, niece of Baron Julius Stargazer, has written to the Bereny Bugle to put her side of the story over the recent incident at Stargazer Manor. If the young druidess is to be believed, an unnamed castle cat snuck onto Stargazer Estate several days ago, slipped into the large town of Blackbriar, and hired a small group of labourers for the purpose of stealing produce from the Estate’s fields.
The local farmers and teamsters representative declined to comment when presented with Miss Stargazer's accusations. When asked if the cat talked, the gentleman laughed weakly before turning away to go on about his business.
Still, talking animals aren't unheard off. Unicorns, who some claim are nothing more than especially blessed animals, communicate quite readily with the citizen of Bereny … or at least their allies in the Centaur Council and Terin'Sha. Also, if rumour is to be believed, a talking timber wolf has been wandering from Moon Ward to Summer Ward, reporting his travels to that trio of cartographers, Herman, Mirrimon, and Russett.
But can a castle cat talk? We posed that question to the Cat Rescue and Protection Society. Its founder, Miss Mimsy Borogrove, was still on her feline expedition, so we settled for a statement from the CRAPS legal secretary. "Cats are furry, cuddly kitties that need our love and affection. Provide plenty of minced steak or kidney pie and a cat will be your friend for life. Despite their extreme intelligence, however, they do not talk." Rumour that the secretary was heard whispering to the cat that accompanied her, "Did I say it, right?" are totally without merit.
So, has the stray cat community extended their criminal pursuits from homicidal to agricultural larceny? What's next? A numbers racket? Whatever the truth, better watch your back when a stray cat crosses your path.