The Bereny Bugle

Headlines || Archive Index || Letters || Funny Page || Horoscope || Quiz || About the Bugle || Search || Madhouse

- Archive Page Seventeen -

CASTLE CATS SHOW THEIR CLAWS

Dateline: 7-2-516

Even as a new society is being formed to help protect them, some castle cats are showing that it may not be they that are in need of protection. It has been revealed that a pack of the creatures attacked and devoured a Crusader of Shanna.

News that Baron Alex McDunk has provided a home for up to 200 cats on his estates was greeted with derision in some quarters. “Someone should report whoever has the 200 cats for cruelty,” declared Baroness Solas. “Obviously a lot of those cats can't be getting fed regularly and many are likely ending up a free lunch for wandering monsters. Alternately, I believe there is room in our estate asylum for anyone looney enough to walk around with 200 cats.”

But Baron McDunk was unrepentant, and revealed that his cats are well able to take care of themselves. “My cats are fed just fine. I feed them goblins almost daily. Crusaders who kill a kitten, by stepping on it and don't even care are also on the menu. Take Sorsha, a Crusader of Shanna, who yesterday did that very act. Killed the great-great-great grandkitty of "She Cat" mother of all cats. Today Sorsha is food.”

“I would stop the cats if I could, but I don't want to become food myself. They may look cute, but in packs even werewolves run away.”

Baroness Solas suggested "Perhaps the kingdom needs a leash law. Or limits on the number of cats someone is allowed to own.”

“Oh, what a terrible, horrible thing. That poor little kitten!" Miss Mimsy Borogrove of the Cat Rescue and Protection Society told the Bugle. “But is Lord McDunk sure he's giving his cats a healthy diet? Nothing but goblin (with added Crusader for flavour) can make their coats dull. I feed mine on minced steak and river fish with the odd little choccie for a treat."


IS THE RED SCARF RESURGENT?

Dateline: 10-2-516

The sinister underground movement dedicated to the overthrow of the established order of governance of the Kingdom of Bereny, known variously as Dreadnaught or as the Red Scarf, is again active and is seeking to recruit new members to support its revolutionary aims.

A notice has appeared all around Bereny from ‘Brother Alfie’, a representative of the organisation, saying “Are you bored of the false promises of your landlord, baron or just nobility in general? Or just want to stand up for all the wrongs & misjustices that have done against you or your family. Then throw away the chains of your oppressors! Here is your chance to show what it means to have a voice & count for some thing.”

The organisation known as Dreadnaught existed for many years as an official Crown-sanctioned Guild. It always maintained that it was Crown-loyal, and sought only to champion the interests of the common people and protect them from the excesses of the nobility. However it later emerged that it was little more than a cover for another more shadowy organisation, the Red Scarf. Off the record, Red Scarf members often openly admitted that their ultimate goal was the replacement of the Monarchy with a another form of government they termed ‘democracy’. Although it has never been proven, there were accusations that agitators from the Red Scarf were behind a number of revolts by estate tenants.

However most of the organisation’s publicly-known members disappeared about three years ago, including its flamboyant leader Jarris Callen, who according to some rumours was slain by his own revolutionary comrades for betraying their ideals. Shortly after this the organisation had its official status as a Guild revoked by the Royal Courts.

More Crown-loyal Guilds were quick to denounce the Red Scarf’s latest inflammatory call.


CAN THE CRIMSON GUARD SOLVE THE ENIGMA OF THE EMPEROR IN CRIMSON?

Dateline: 15-2-516

The sudden appearance of the entity known as the Emperor in Crimson at Poldoon has raised questions that are perplexing the greatest minds of the Kingdom. Who or what is the Emperor in Crimson? What does it want? How can it be stopped?

The last of these questions is of particular concern to those near the monster, and to the citizens of the nearby city of Poldoon. All accounts so far suggest that the creature cannot be harmed by any means known in the Kingdom.  

All those who have seen the Emperor in Crimson have spoken of the palpable air of evil and menace that surrounds it, but exactly what its goals are seem unclear. However it seems likely that, while possessing King Slime, it was the driving intelligence behind the Goblin Invasion and possibly the mastermind of the Antithetical Alliance, so there is little doubt that it represents a threat to the Kingdom. “This enemy of the kingdom would not have been freed by those who intend the destruction of the kingdom if he wasn't extremely dangerous,” said Kubala Wildfire, the Duchess of Ghorst. “I have a feeling that there is a secret to damaging the Emperor in Crimson. Either only certain weapons, items or spells can hurt the Emperor, or perhaps most likely only certain individuals.”

One suggestion that has received some support is that the secret of how to defeat the Emperor in Crimson may rest with the so-called ‘Crimson Guard’. This seems to have originally been a secret order within the goblin tribe who guarded the site of the Emperor’s imprisonment, although it is believed that all its members were slain when King Slime came to power.

However Crusader of Selador Brightstone has revealed how he and a number of companions discovered the place within the Keep where the Emperor in Crimson was held, and in an adjoining room discovered a ‘Red Book’. Those who read this book received a revelation that they were now members of the Crimson Guard, as well as learning new skills (some of which were previously believed to be known only to the Dwarves).

“I rather suspect the Crimson Guard may well be the only answer to the Emperor in Crimson,” commented Duchess Kubala. Unfortunately Brightstone and all his fellow ‘Crimson Guards’ are trapped within King Slimes Keep as the new knowledge revealed to them does not stretch as far as how to remove the enchantment that keeps the doors of the Keep sealed.

Some seem unconvinced however. “Maybe the Crimson Guard are his slaves, and have to do his bidding,” said Aortia, a senior member of the Walkers on the Edge Guild. “I suggest the Lord Crusaders cast down any who have become his Crimson Guards, and everyone else kills them on sight, but hey, that’s just my view.”


RED MOUNTAIN IS ‘DEN OF INIQUITY’ SAYS HIGH PRIEST

Dateline: 17-2-516

Morgut, High Priest of Bereny, has recently returned to his home in the courtyard of Red Mountain Keep. In an interview with this reporter, I discovered he is quite displeased.

"Red Mountain courtyard was a depraved place only good for ne'er-do-wells when I last left it, and it has only grown worse! I went to the central courtyard to preach the Righteous Word of the Six and the passers-by actually began throwing stones! Truly this place is a godless den of iniquity!"

Anonymous sources within the Courtyard Guard confirm the events the High Priest has described. "Yeah, Fat Boy started on about how people were tempted by wickedness so some of the Rat Eaters gang got a bit rowdy. Business as usual."

Red Mountain Keep has been well known by adventurers and ordinary citizens alike for its' whorehouses, bars and corruption. I was especially fortunate to speak to Miss Tanandra, proprietress of the Rose and Thorns, probably the most exclusive and certainly the best known such ‘establishment’ in Red Mountain. "I think Red Mountain has a certain charm to it. It's like a strong man, tough and full of energy. There isn't anywhere else like it."

If the High Priest has his way, that might change. "I won't be satisfied until this godless place finds the glory of the Right and Holy Six," he declared.




















<< Previous Archive Page                               Back to Archive Index                                 Next Archive Page >>

<< Previous Archive Page                                                                                          Next Archive Page >>