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THE BERENY BUGLE BIG INTERVIEW
INTERVIEW WITH A MONSTER
Grrrr!!!! Snr speaks to the Bereny Bugle, By Editor-
Dateline: 5-
The Bereny Bugle was recently granted an exclusive interview with one of Bereny’s most notorious monsters, the Lizard leader Grrrr!!!! Snr. We were escorted deep into his subterranean lair in the Bowels of Death, somewhere near Swinderlog Swamp.
Q: Lord Grrrr!!!!, thank you for agreeing to this interview.
Lord Grrrr!!!!: Thank you for asking me, I am delighted that I can provide some insight to your readers.
Q: 'Wild' lizardmen, such as many might consider you, have a reputation for hunting and eating people, but you seem to prefer chocolate biscuits. Why is that?
LG!: That is true, but they have a reputation for eating anything. Whilst you may not eat Lizardmen, you herd animals and eat them. You also hunt others and use them in a variety of uses. Why do I prefer the biscuits? Well I am not sure. They are easier to make and dont run away when you try to eat them <laughs> .
Q: Where do you get your chocolate biscuits from?
LG!: Did you not hear all that machinery when we brought you down here? I make them here. We also make other biscuits too.
Q: Lizardmen are now accepted as citizens of the Kingdom of Bereny. Do you wish to be a citizen of the Kingdom of Bereny? What would it take for you to agree to this? Would you be prepared to renounce whatever dark gods you follow for the Six?
LG!: I have offered myself as a Citizen of Bereny, but I will not turn from Glarul Ul. He provides me with boons to my minions. I don’t see him as a Dark God; his temple over there does not pulse with Dark Energy for example.
Q: Who is Princess Grrrace?
LG!: The princess is my neice. The product of my brother Lord Grrrr!!!! and the Duchess Arianne of Poldoon. Despite her lizard heritage she appears entirely human.
Q: Is it true that you claim that she is the rightful heir to the throne of Bereny?
LG!: No, she is not a rightful heir to the throne of Bereny -
Q: How do other leaders of tribes of monsters look on you? Are you in conflict with them?
LG!: Other monster leaders, at least the well known ones, are my mortal enemies. I am not a member of the Dark Path, as they like to call their league of evil, and I will never join them. I will fight them at every available opportunity. I prefer to host nice dinner parties for other monster leaders who are more interested in closer relationships with your Regent.
Q: Is it true that you offered to have your forces aid the Crown against the goblin invasion?
LG!: Yes I did, I offered a full 200 Strong Lizardman Force to help with the invasion. I never even got a reply. I find that strange.
Q: Is it also true that you sent your minions to try to kill Earl Dickon? Duchess Juliette seems to hold a particular grudge against you for that.
LG!: No, it was not my minions. We have never openly attacked anyone else. The only time we engaged in conflict was when the White Tower launched their foolhardy mission into my Kingdom. We only ever defended ourselves, and still they claim we attacked them.
Q: Why did you attend the diplomatic function with the Merinya? Do you hope to recruit them as allies? Or trade with them?
LG!: The Merinya are a wonderful species and I have offered them full relations. They can have anything they want from my realm and we can offer them more than anyone else. We have fresh waterways and many fish. We also have many Huge Minions who we can send to them to act as guards or whatever they wanted them for.
And I must emphasise that what I offer is offered to ALL Merinya and not just the ninth shoal. I understand many of them were not fully aware of what I offered.
Q: As a Lizardman I suppose it would be possible for you to journey to their realm. Do you look on that as a possible refuge if you are driven from the Bowels of Death.?
LG!: I would love to travel to their realm where I may find more acceptance. But this is where I call home, and as you can see it is a lot more homely than most Dungeons. I don’t mind telling you that I would welcome anyone to come and say hello and purchase some chocolate biscuits.
Q: Is it true that you have journeyed to other worlds and dimensions beyond this one.
LG!: I have been to both the Underworld and the Shadowrift. My minions have been more often though and we have researched some very interesting ideas in these areas.
Q: Is there a Grrrr!!!! Jnr around? Do we hear the pitter-
LG!: Oh yes, there is a Grrrr!!!! Jnr. The many spawnings we have had created many of the Grrrr!!!! Clan. I would take you to the spawning pools but I would prefer to avoid them having the opportunity to taste human flesh. We make sure they dislike it; we do not wish to cause alarm.
Q: Grrrr!!!! Snr, thank you for your time.
LG!: Thank you for your visit. Here take some chocolate biscuits with you to share amongst your fellow reporters.