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The Bereny Bugle
‘Blowing our horn for the People of Bereny’

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THE BERENY BUGLE IS BACK!

Dateline: 23-06-520


We're back! The Bereny Bugle resumes publication


The Bereny Bugle has resumed publication following a landmark ruling this week by the Royal Courts to release its assets, which were frozen at the end of last year on the orders of the Lord Crusader of Merl, the Kingdom's senior tax collector, following alleged non-payment of taxes, an action that forced the Bugle to cease publication.


The courts have now ruled that the position of Bugle Newspapers (International) Ltd that the Bugle was in compliance with the Lord Crusader's so-called 'funnies tax', which requires that a publication include a section entitled 'Funny Page(s)' or incur a 'No funny pages' tax surcharge, is essentially correct. It has always been the view of the Bugle's management that there was no requirement for the Funny pages to actually be funny, where as the Lord Crusader has insisted that they must provide objective and legally binding evidence of the Funny pages' mirthfulness. The courts have now ruled that the Funny pages only have to possess a 'potential for humour'.


The Office of the Lord Crusader immediately moved to have the assets of Bugle Newspapers (International) Ltd frozen again with fresh allegations of unpaid taxes, but before this new order could come into effect, a crack team of heavily armed accountants moved into the company's offices and successfully transferred all its assets to an organisation known at that time as 'Company Twelve', but which has now been renamed  Bugle Newspapers (NewCo) Ltd.


"This landmark ruling by the Royal Courts, and the totally legal and above board transfer of all assets of Bugle Newspapers (International) Ltd, including the name and Royal Publication Licence of the Bereny Bugle, to the new company of Bugle Newspapers (NewCo) Ltd, which has no tax liabilities whatsoever, has cleared the way for the Bereny Bugle to resume publication", said Gordon Hatchett of accountancy firm Hyde, Hatchett & Grind. "We would like to commend our crack team of accountants, who completed this difficult assignment with minimal collateral damage and hardly any casualties."


"We are also pleased to confirm that Bugle Newspapers (NewCo) Ltd has re-employed Rebekah Seyke as Editor-in-Chief of the Bereny Bugle."


Meanwhile the Office of the Lord Crusader of Merl has denied allegations that he is conducting a personal vendetta against the Bereny Bugle after it published reports of his sordid sex life, which has lead to calls for his resignation on the grounds of gross moral turpitude.


Speaking before the Court's decision, a spokesman for the Crusaders of Merl said "Sir Gaborn Val Orden, Lord Crusader of Merl, has no personal vendetta levelled at the Bereny Bugle, and is truly sorry to hear they are having some unforeseen problems with their publications. But we at the office of Merl have a duty to look into clams of tax evading and some other clams that have been bough to us regarding the Bereny Bugle. The freezing of their assets and staff being questioned has nothing at all to do with what they wrote about the Lord Crusader's private life."


"We have no idea how long it will take to check out all of the clams or how high the cost will be, but we are sure given time everything will be sorted out and the Bereny Bugle will be up and running in no time and they will be more careful with their tax records and who they write about. Finally we would like to say again that this is not a personal vendetta levelled at the Bereny Bugle by the Lord Crusader of Merl, who would never abuse his power in that way."  



SEE ALSO


21-12-518 - Lord Crusader accused of 'gross moral turpitude'